The wizards at Ankh-Morpork s Unseen University are reknowned for many things -- sagacity, magic, and their love of teatime -- but athletics is not on the list. And so when Lord Ventinari, the city s benevolent tyrant, suggests to Archchancellor Ridcully that the University once again put forth a football team made up of faculty, students, and staff, the wizards of UU find themselves in somewhat of a quandary. To begin with, they have to figure out just what it is that makes this sport -- soccer with a bit of rugby thrown in -- so popular with Ankh-Morporkians of all ages and social strata. On top of that, they must win a football match without using magic.§Meanwhile, Trev (handsome, charismatic, and a right good kicker) falls hard for kitchen maid Juliet (beautiful, dim, who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there ever was), and Trev s mysterious friend Nutt (socially awkward but fearsomely smart) befriends Juliet s best pal, cook Glenda (dumpy but extremely capable baker of jolly good pies). As the big football match approaches, four lives are changed forever. Because, the thing about football -- the important thing about football -- is that it is not just about football.